One reason is for-most-certainly known: It’s still, still, still, still, stillllllllllllll nowhere near a normal person’s definition of warm.
And then there’s the to-do list over here. Let’s just say: It’s not short.
And the people around here. They have needs.
It’s all enough to make this first-born, type-A, straight-A, single-momming, self-employed girl want to hole up, buckle down and take care of things. Make things better. Fix things. Soothe things. Prevent things. Get things done. Check things off the list. All while clenching her shoulders and holding her breath until maybe, someday, the list will be a little less long and the needs a little lighter.
So that’s what I’ve been doing.
But I haven’t been able to escape the voices of several wise women who care about me. They’ve been echoing in my ears (and my iPhone). Hey, Julie, in the midst of your current reality, what are you doing to take care of yourself?
What? Me? Huh? Who has time for that?? What an annoying question! How could I possibly do more for myself right now than scrounge up food three times a day and maybe shower once a week?
But then I remembered.
I’ve surrounded myself with those particular wise women for a reason. I know that they know that I know exactly what happens when I play the martyr, or the superhero. Or the victim. Or God.
Ok. Yes, yes, yes.
So, today, during my free afternoon, I didn’t come home and work on my dangerously-close-to-late taxes or log some much-needed work hours or any of the other very important things that really need to get done.
I did the thing that needed to be done even more.
I lingered over lunch with a good friend. I soaked up six minutes of artificial-but-still-better-than-nothing rays and vitamin D (and warmth!!!!) in the tanning bed. I took long, deep, intentional breaths. I made my legs burn at the gym. I drove myself to a favorite destination and disappeared into a world of visual stimulation and inspiration.
And when I resurfaced, I had found a pleasant surprise.
(And also a beautiful, desperately needed dose of real, live green. Enjoy.)
P.S. Both pics were taken at Hunt & Gather.