Six months ago exactly, in the wee hours of the morning, I sent myself two emails while laying in bed. I had been reading a chapter on my YouVersion app. I had never sent myself this kind of email before. I have never done it since. I don’t remember why I did.

verse | the both and | shorts and longsBut I do think there was probably a reason. Little did I know.

Just hours after sending that email….AHBL. All Hell Broke Loose.

This is what one of the messages said:

“…From now on your name is Israel (God-Wrestler).”


Because that is exactly what I became on March 3, 2010, in a way I have never been before. A God-Wrestler.

Seriously, God? Really? What? Where were you? Where are you? You let this happen? You knew this would happen??? You?! Do you know how bad that sucks?!!!! I trusted you! What?! Really.

Yep. That’s been my half-year.

Well, for what it’s worth, I’m wrestling. I’m in there. Haven’t run. No cold shoulder. No deer-in-the-headlights freeze. Just all-out, down-and-dirty, kicked-in-the-gut-and-kicking-back fighting. Ugh.

As for that other email I sent myself that night. I’m a little too muddy to share that one. Yet.

by julie rybarczyk


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