OBSERVATIONS

Here are a few things I’ve noticed lately…
1. Life is hard.
2. And unfair.
3. Pain sucks.
4. Healing is exhausting, expensive, scary, often discouraging and never the easy choice.
5. I understand why people stay in addiction, or go there in the first place. (See 1 through 4.)

As for me, I know there’s a reason why I’m doing my best to choose life, give the pain some space, not numb it, pursue healing. I just can’t remember what it is at the moment. The above list is too distracting.

For now I’ll trust that it’s a crazy-good reason (it better be) and I’ll keep walking (ok, sometimes trudging) this uphill path.

I’ll keep re-evaluating whether this is all worth it, because I know if I feel trapped, I will want to escape the hard stuff for sure.

And I’ll keep trying to be nice to myself along the way.

I think that’s what I would tell a friend to do.

Here’s to living life. Even when it’s a stinky, ugly, confusing mess, huh?

by julie rybarczyk

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Photo by k_kif.